The Hollands: Getting into Shape

How many photos do you have in your albums that don't include you...or, you're in them, but you're in the back, or only your face or head is visible? I was scrapbooking the pictures from our Florida vacation trip in June, the other day (yes, I know it's been over 7 months) and it occurred to me that these are the first pictures in a long time in which I am included. I specifically asked my son and best friend, Suzanne, to take pictures of me too. I had to tell them because for years all anyone has heard from me is, "Don't get me in it!"

I decided that I was tired of being excluded from the photos simply because I am overweight and don't like the way I look. Nick is going to have album after album of pictures without me and in years to come, his kids may ask where I was in all of these (I hope). For better or worse, this is the way I look and I am no longer content to be a spectator and left out of all the picture memories we take.

This decision led to my weight loss regime as I've been calling it. I decided that I was going to do something about all the weight I've put on in recent years. MUCH easier said than done, but I got super motivated and began by walking twice around the circle on which we live. I found a website that allows you to measure distances from above and I calculated that each circle equals 1/4 mile, so 4 laps is a mile...I slowly increased the distance until I was walking 2 miles each morning once Nick got on the school bus. My work day begins at 8:00 and Nick is on the bus at 6:45, so instead of going back to bed and dozing for an hour, I was walking and then having my shower before beginning my day.

A funny thing happened, I began to enjoy the exercise. Well, to be honest, not the exercise itself, but the feeling I had afterward...endorphins, or whatever they are, were rushing through my post-exercised body and I felt fantastic. This led to me being proactive about diet, the hard part of my weight loss journey. I am always ok in the morning, and lunchtime seems to be okay too, but at dinner time and beyond, my brain loses control and my stomach takes over. My portions are too large and the snacking, or grazing, behavior kicks in. That has been my biggest trouble...eating when I am not really hungry.

Anyway, I stocked up on diet dinners to have for lunch and bought healthy foods and snacks and over the course of three months I lost 20 pounds. My diabetes check (A1C) was excellent and the doctor actually reduced one of my medications.

Then we had to go to San Antonio...I kept up the exercise while we were there, but we were eating out at every meal and I came back up a few pounds and not feeling great. Then we had Halloween and all that DAMN candy. No, I was unable to resist!!! November arrived and Thanksgiving came to town with all the baking and yummy goodies that it entails, followed swiftly by Christmas and my Pumpkin Bread-baking mania. To make a long story short, for the last three months, I have fallen off my diet wagon. I am determined to get back on. I have gained 10 pounds back, but I am still 10 pounds lower than when I began in August.

I have to start all over because I lost the momentum and it is harder to motivate myself to exercise, which is stupid because I know that once I start I'll fall in love all over again. Do other people go through these times? I don't really talk to anyone about it because my Mom doesn't understand the struggle, when she wants to lose weight, she just does it...Hard to relate to that. I am not saying anything to anyone, but I am going to pick myself up and start over again. We'll see, maybe there will be some "skinny pictures" of me to post soon. I am posting one from our trip to San Antonio...I am still heavy, but I can see improvement. This is the motivation I need!! Stay tuned!