Scents and Memory

     One of the very first scent-based memories I have is of my mom bending down to tuck me into bed when I was a little kid.  She was wearing Emeraude, a deliciously scented perfume that is still available. I didn't know what it was called when I was a kid, and I am not sure I was even that aware that she was wearing perfume.\; it was just the scent that I associated with her.  When I get a whiff of this perfume today, I am instantly transported back to my childhood and although the smell is not at all kid-like, it soothes me and brings me enormous pleasure when I smell it.


Me and Mom

      It is still a perfume I enjoy as an adult.  In fact, I wear it often.  The smell is amazing, and I get the added bonus of it bringing me the instant memories of my mom.  I wear a lot of different scents, depending on my mood and I didn't realize that I was out of Emeraude until I decided to wear some the other day and I discovered the bottle was empty.  I knew that the department stores don't carry it.  In fact, the one time I "foolishly" asked about it in a department store, I was told by the haughty (bitchy) saleswoman that Emeraude was only sold in drug stores. Can you say perfume snob?!?

     I wonder if that is why more women don't wear it.  Does wearing a perfume purchased in a drug store/Wal-Mart/Target make it less appealing than one purchased at Macy's/Nordstrom's/Saks?  I have perfume that was bought for me and that I myself have bought.  I don't care where it comes from. In fact, the less I have to spend, the happier I am.  I guess I am going to enjoy my little secret and continue to wear Emeraude.  (I just ordered two bottles of it to be sent to me from Amazon...less than $20 bucks - SCORE!!)
     I didn't intend this to become an ad for Emeraude perfume.  I just think it is amazing how memories and smell are so intrinsically linked together.  There are many other scents that take me back also, but this is one that I can revisit with just a quick spray!  Thanks Mom!!

Pleasant Things

     Occasionally I catch myself being negative or grouchy.  I don't know whether it is because I am tired or worn out, or if Nick did or said something to irritate me (he IS a teenager), but I recently decided to make a conscience effort to be more positive.  To that end, I am looking for pleasant, pretty, or worthwhile things in my daily life to enjoy and share with my friends and Facebook community. 

     I think that by making a concerted effort to find the good or pleasant aspects of life I will become more aware of the positive things that surround me.  I sometimes tend to be pessimistic and I am trying to change that in myself, so I am giving this a shot to see if I can make a noticeable difference.

     Here are the first 5 images I have found.  Some I photographed, others I "borrowed," but all of them remind me of the simple pleasures that are all around me if I take the time to look and enjoy them.  (Boy I sound really preachy don't I???) I am trying to post one each day, but that isn't written in stone.  If I make this too much of a "job" then it'll become a chore rather than the pleasure I am hoping it will be. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Pleasant thing #1

Pleasant thing #2



Pleasant thing #3 (Happy Easter)



Pleasant thing #4 (My favorite so far)

Pleasant thing #5

Where the Heck Have we Been?

     I have no idea if anyone reads these posts or if I am being self-indulgent by writing blogs about me, me, me.  In any case, if anyone is reading and has been wondering where I've been, my life turned totally upside down and sideways in the last 9 months!
     I accepted the job with the company I interviewed with in Washington, D.C. and Nick and I  moved to the east coast in June!  Sounds simple, huh?  The reality was anything but...I had movers come and pack us up, load the truck and move our things to a storage facility someplace in Virginia. Then I had to arrange for an auto transport company to move my second vehicle (Honda Passport) to Virginia. Once all of that was done, I had to figure out how to pack enough clothes for me and Nick for a month, the two dogs, our cat, Willie, Nick's PlayStation, and other necessities in my Volkswagen Beetle for the 1000 mile drive from Arkansas to Virginia.  The drive was uneventful, but LONG!!!
     I keep saying Virginia because for the first month of our new adventure on the east coast, we were living in a high-rise apartment building in Arlington, VA while I looked for permanent accommodations.  We eventually ended up in Maryland, but the Virginia apartment was a nice experience.  We arrived here on a Sunday and I had to report to work the very next day.  Nick had his PlayStation, so he was happy, but I was concerned and feeling guilty about leaving him alone all day in a strange place.  He adapted beautifully and I began my new job.  The dogs figured out they had to go up and down in an elevator before they could go outside.  That was a pain!!  Taking two dogs for a walk at 5:30 in the AM is NOT fun, especially when they are not used to doing their business while being walked.  Eventually they got the idea and that became a much faster process.
     We are now living in a 4th floor walk-up In North Bethesda (formerly Rockville).  The apartment is nice (the stairs...not so much), but it was not my first choice.  I put a deposit on a 2-bedroom town house in Chevy Chase and about a week before my corporate housing time was going to end, I found out that we didn't get the town house.  I didn't have much time to look around, so I  rented the apartment we're in pretty quickly.  It is a great apartment, but hindsight being 20-20, I could have found something just as nice for (a lot) less money.  Thanks goodness the grocery store delivers, so when I need to do a large shopping, I place an order on-line and the groceries are brought to the door.  Pretty cool!!!  (The stairs are a pain, but bringing groceries up is HORRIBLE).



Great Falls, MD

      Nick loves his new school which is pretty funny considering he complained very loudly and consistently to whomever would listen about how he did NOT want to move here.  He has a lot of friends and loves being close to D.C.  Most weekends we spend at least 1 day exploring museums, or walking around the monuments, etc.  He is really liking all there is to do here.

Nick at the Washington Monument

     My step-dad, Wayne Stone, passed away in November.  He had successfully battled throat cancer the previous year and then was given a diagnosis of lung cancer.  He fought as much as he could and then it was done.  He spent some time in hospice, which was a fantastic experience for all of us, before passing away.  Nick and I flew out with the dogs and were able to spend some time with him before he died.  I'd like to think he knew we were there, but only God knows the answer to that.  He didn't suffer and thankfully, for both him and my mom, he didn't linger either.  We had a small service in Hot Springs, and then his brother demanded that he be buried in a cemetery in Tennessee near his Aunt Willie's farm.  We weren't thrilled, but because Wayne never definitively said what he wanted, my mom allowed Uncle Tommy to have his way.  Frankly, it was so stressful and upsetting that we didn't want to fight with him about it.  Nick and I were able to stay in Arkansas about 2 weeks, but I had to get back to work and Nick back to school.  It's been hard on my mom, but she has her place up for sale, so hopefully we'll be able to be together again soon!
     Christmas was spent in Virgina with my Dad and step-mother.  It was sad for me and Nick not to be with my mom, but there was no way we could go back to Arkansas after having been there for so long in November.  We had a fun Christmas and I think being in a different place with different people made it more bearable since it came so quickly after Wayne's death.  I hadn't spent a Christmas with my dad since I was 15, so I enjoyed the time this year especially.  We had a really good time!!

Christmas - 2012

     It is now the end of March.  Winter is trying to hang on, but there are signs of spring popping up all over.  I am looking forward to the cherry blossoms and I've promised Nick a weekend trip to New York once the weather is nicer.  I'll try to be more consistent with this blog.  As I wrote previously, I don't know if anyone reads these, but it's nice to have a record of what is happening in our lives.


Me at the base of the Capital Building




Nick at the reflecting pool near the Capital



Me at the Jefferson Memorial

I've included some photos from some of our excursions in the city!  Cheers!!

Family Time

I've noticed that the older Nick gets, the more time he spends in his room or with his friends.  The days of hanging out with mom all the time are all over.  As much as this saddens me, I know that it is a normal part of growing up.  Maybe it's because I only have on child, or perhaps it wouldn't matter if I had 19 (like a certain family in northern Arkansas), but when I take a minute to think about all the ways Nick is growing up and changing it makes me a bit melancholy and nostalgic for the days when he was little and I was the most important person in his world.

Whew, that sounded sappy, huh.  Well, I was having one of those previously mentioned moments the other day and started looking through some old photos.  I thought I'd share some of my favorites.  Don't be fooled though...this blog may be written for an audience, but these photos are strictly for my benefit!  (It gives me a chance to show off my handsome son!!)

This first photo was taken when Nick was only 2.  I can't get over how blonde he was at this age when his hair is so dark now.

Nick on Tucky - Pipe Creek, TX, age 2

 I took Nick to California to go to Disneyland for his 8th birthday.  We stayed with my cousin's family and had a blast!  Coincidently, her son's birthday is the day after Nick's (4 years older), so the boys celebrated together

The Job Search

As you may or may not be aware, my job of late has become increasingly difficult and unpleasant.  A few months ago, our (former) V.P. changed policies so that anyone who worked offsite could not be promoted to position in which he or she might have direct reports (manager positions).  Unfortunately, that was the next position I was in line for and there were, in fact, three positions for manager for which I was not allowed to apply unless I wanted to move back to Illinois.  Since that was not happening, I now find myself answering to one of my former colleagues.  She was promoted to manager and two other colleagues, whom I actually outranked, filled the other two positions.  As you can imagine, I have very strong feelings about this change in policy and although I like and respect my new manager, it is very hard to report to someone who held the same job position just a couple of months ago.

The V.P. who made all these changes has since resigned but the havoc she wreaked is still in effect.  Most of the senior staff have resigned and moved on to other companies and I find myself the lone standout.  ALL of the other people with whom I work have been at the company for less than a year, so to say I have seniority would be a great understatement.  I keep hearing that the managers are trying to get the two directors (who are also new) to make some changes back because I know they are worried that I'll leave too.  Which leads me to my topic...

I have an incredible opportunity with a company that for now shall remain nameless.  They want me to be an "Item Development Manager."  For anyone reading this who doesn't know anything about assessment, this is a great job!!  The money is fantastic, the benefits are better, they want to fly me out for an interview...wait, yes, I did say fly.  This fantastic, wonderful, amazing job opportunity is based in Washington, D.C.  If I am offered the job, Nick and I will have to relocate to the D.C. area. I've already interviewed over the phone with one of the directors, so although I don't have an offer yet, it looks promising1

I am kind of excited about the prospect of moving back to the east coast.  I lived in Maryland for several years when I was in my late teens/early twenties.  Some of my immediate family are there and I still have friends in the area.  However...my mom and step-dad are in Arkansas!!  I hate the idea of leaving them.  I love that Nick and I get to see them every week; I would really miss that.  Nick, of course, being an almost 13-year old boy, doesn't want to move at all, but he knows that I'll do what I think best for our family, but I am really torn right now.

I don't even have the job yet, but I kind of get the feeling that it is my job to lose, so unless I totally screw up the final interviews in D.C., I have some big decisions to make.

1. Can I afford to live there?  There is a huge difference in the cost of living in D.C. compared to Arkansas.  I found some wonderful houses on line that are in my price range, so housing seems to be ok.  I know there are other costs I haven't factored in, but with the huge difference in salary I'd be making, it seems doable (did I mention that I would be making a TON more money with this new job?!?!)

2. Do we want to leave a town we've lived in for six years?  I don't really know very many people here. Since I work from home, I don't have the normal opportunites to meet people that I'd have in an office setting. So aside from my family, that wouldn't really be an issue.

3. Do I want to pull Nick out of school?  He is about to go into junior high, so he'd be changing schools next year anyway.  The only difference is that Nick won't know anyone if we move and chances are good, if we stay here, that some of his friends will still be in his classes next year.

4. Do I want to move out of my house?  I love this house and was actually considering buying it before all of this came up.  Leaving it behind for the unknown is kind of scary.  I am sure we can find another house we like as much, but still...

5. Do I want to leave my mom and step-dad?  This is the worst one for me.  My mom and I are extremely close.  We talk everyday and although that wouldn't have to change, not being able to see each other all the time like we do now, would suck!!  Plus, I help them out around their place a lot with the horses, etc.  My brother is still here, so they wouldn't be alone, but I'd really miss them a lot!!

6. Do I want to leave a job I've had for almost 8 years for a new job in a new city?  It is always a scary proposition changing jobs, but the dissatisfaction I've felt for my current employer makes this one of the easier questions to answer.

I am sure there are many more questions I need to ask myself.  I am waiting to hear from the company in D.C. to see when they want me to come out to interview with them.  We'll see what happens...

Please post your comments!  I'd love to hear what you think.

Kitchen Fun...Baking Bread!!

I love to cook...I've loved to cook for a long time, but there are certain recipes or types of food that I have stayed away from because of the intimidation factor.  Bread is one of those types of food.  Don't get me wrong, I love bread!  I am not a huge fan of the multi-grain, eating twigs in the forest types of breads that are out there, but give me a nice soft french baguette with a crunch crust smeared with a dollop of butter and I'm your girl!!

I typically buy my bread at the grocery store, but due to health and weight concerns, I am becoming more and more aware of the additives, preservatives, and chemicals in the foods available at the store.  I am attempting to make more than I buy of certain products and I've decided that bread is one of those things that I am capable of mastering.

I started easy...I found a basic French bread recipe; kind of like Bread making for Idiots (Is there a book with that title?  If not, there should be!)  I had a bit of trial and error, but the final product turned out great!!

Here is the recipe I made for my "first time":

French Bread
 1 Cup warm water
1 Tbl honey
1 envelope yeast
1 teas. salt
3 Cups Bread Flour (you may have to use a bit less)

Stir water, honey and yeast together in bowl of stand mixer. Let proof for 5 minutes. 

In a separate bowl, sift together 2 cups of the flour and salt and add this to the water/yeast mixture in 1/2 cup increments.  Slowly add the remaining 1 cup of flour until dough is pliable and well mixed, but NOT too dry.  Mix on level 2 for about 5 minutes until the dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl and forms a ball.

Grease a bowl and let the dough sit. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise for 1 hour.

Punch it down and divide the dough into two pieces.  Shape each piece into a loaf or baguette and place on baking sheet. Cover with plastic wrap and allow to rise for an additional 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 400.  Remove plastic from baking sheet(s) and reduce oven temp to 350.  Bake 20 minutes or until bread is a light golden color. 

Let cool 10-15 minutes before slicing.

As I said, this recipe turned out well (the second time I made it).  The first time, I added all 3 cups of the flour without checking to see how wet or dry the dough was becoming.  It was so dry I couldn't even incorporate all of the flour and when I baked it, it was hard and unpleasantly chewy.  Adding the 2 cups of flour with the salt first and then adding only what is needed of the last cup of flour made a HUGE difference in the way the bread turned out.

A few years ago I was at my dad's house and was served English Muffin bread to use as my toast.  It was in a word FANTASTIC!  Imagine my disappointment when I came home and discovered that the grocery stores in Hot Springs, AR don't carry it.  I recently came upon a blog www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com that had a recipe for English muffin bread.  I made it and, again, I was happy with how easy and delicious it was!  Here is that recipe:

Carole's English Muffin Bread 
5 1/2 Cups warm water
3 packages yeast
2 Tbl. salt
3 Tbl. sugar
11 Cups bread flour (all-purpose flour can be used also)

Mix all ingredients together until just combined ( DON'T over mix) and let rise until doubled.  Spoon mixture into 4 well greased loaf pans.  Let rise in pans until dough reaches the top of the pan.

Bake in 350 degree oven for 45 minutes or until golden brown. Start checking it after 30 minutes because depending on your oven, it might need more or less baking time. 10 minutes before it is done, brush the tops of the loaves with melted butter.

Bread will be moist at first.  Allow to cool COMPLETELY before slicing it. 


I actually cut this recipe in half when I made it and I purchased the foil loaf pans from the grocery store which are a bit smaller than a standard loaf pan.  It yielded 3 beautiful loaves and was a lot easier to mix using my stand mixer!   Again, I want to give credit where credit is due: www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com

 This is absolutely fantastic and when sliced it has all the nooks and crannies that you'd expect from an English muffin.

I have a couple of new recipes that I am going to try next...one for a simple one-hour white bread and the other for Brioche (Yum!!!).  Wish me luck!  I'll post photos of my next attempts!!!

Getting into Shape

How many photos do you have in your albums that don't include you...or, you're in them, but you're in the back, or only your face or head is visible?  I was scrapbooking the pictures from our Florida vacation trip in June, the other day (yes, I know it's been over 7 months) and it occurred to me that these are the first pictures in a long time in which I am included.  I specifically asked my son and best friend, Suzanne, to take pictures of me too.  I had to tell them because for years all anyone has heard from me is, "Don't get me in it!" 

I decided that I was tired of being excluded from the photos simply because I am overweight and don't like the way I look.  Nick is going to have album after album of pictures without me and in years to come, his kids may ask where I was in all of these (I hope).  For better or worse, this is the way I look and I am no longer content to be a spectator and left out of all the picture memories we take.

This decision led to my weight loss regime as I've been calling it.  I decided that I was going to do something about all the weight I've put on in recent years.  MUCH easier said than done, but I got super motivated and began by walking twice around the circle on which we live.  I found a website that allows you to measure distances from above and I calculated that each circle equals 1/4 mile, so 4 laps is a mile...I slowly increased the distance until I was walking 2 miles each morning once Nick got on the school bus.  My work day begins at 8:00 and Nick is on the bus at 6:45, so instead of going back to bed and dozing for an hour, I was walking and then having my shower before beginning my day.

A funny thing happened, I began to enjoy the exercise.  Well, to be honest, not the exercise itself, but the feeling I had afterward...endorphins, or whatever they are, were rushing through my post-exercised body and I felt fantastic.  This led to me being proactive about diet, the hard part of my weight loss journey.  I am always ok in the morning, and lunchtime seems to be okay too, but at dinner time and beyond, my brain loses control and my stomach takes over.  My portions are too large and the snacking, or grazing, behavior kicks in.  That has been my biggest trouble...eating when I am not really hungry. 

Anyway, I stocked up on diet dinners to have for lunch and bought healthy foods and snacks and over the course of three months I lost 20 pounds.  My diabetes check (A1C) was excellent and the doctor actually reduced one of my medications.

Then we had to go to San Antonio...I kept up the exercise while we were there, but we were eating out at every meal and I came back up a few pounds and not feeling great.  Then we had Halloween and all that DAMN candy.  No, I was unable to resist!!!  November arrived and Thanksgiving came to town with all the baking and yummy goodies that it entails, followed swiftly by Christmas and my Pumpkin Bread-baking mania.  To make a long story short, for the last three months, I have fallen off my diet wagon.  I am determined to get back on.  I have gained 10 pounds back, but I am still 10 pounds lower than when I began in August. 

I have to start all over because I lost the momentum and it is harder to motivate myself to exercise, which is stupid because I know that once I start I'll fall in love all over again.  Do other people go through these times?  I don't really talk to anyone about it because my Mom doesn't understand the struggle, when she wants to lose weight, she just does it...Hard to relate to that.  I am not saying anything to anyone, but I am going to pick myself up and start over again.  We'll see, maybe there will be some "skinny pictures" of me to post soon.  I am posting one from our trip to San Antonio...I am still heavy, but I can see improvement.  This is the motivation I need!!  Stay tuned!



Me in San Antonio (Why is this sideways)